Sample Chapters

Sometimes the bird’s in your brain (from “Maine”)

Materializing out of the very dirt itself, she locked her steelies directly into my horror-show pupils, whipped herself to the center of the trail, screw-corked her mass round and round to build the proper mortiferous momentum, and then launched her full mass directly at my face, an unstable chicken-sized nuclear core of beak and claw.
Read the rest

Smiles are nice, but trust those who stand and deliver (from“New York”)

The grey-haired man with my boots, the pastor of the church, broke the silence. “Well, son”—he paused and smiled, and I knew some joke at my expense was on the way—“my daughter told her mother that you may have the absolute whitest butt in the state of New York.”
Read the rest

Pride goeth before the donut (from “New York”)

I stepped out of the woods with something of a troubled mind. Back where I grew up, local laws still let us Baptists and Methodists decide which stores could be open for shopping on our Sabbath, and bakeries weren’t on the approved list for Sunday mornings in Raleigh.
Read the rest

If toxic winter comes, can spring poo be far behind?(from“Pennsylvania”)

I skip backwards across the shelter clearing, on the fly slipping into the unwinding spin of the discus thrower, all the while ready to abandon my grip should the container’s hazard be emboldened to try a leap for freedom. At the edge of the clearing, I stop, pivot, and uncoil in an impressively fluid motion, hurling it into the Pennsylvania wasteland, where no human, I hope, will ever have to encounter it again.
Read the rest


Available at:


%d bloggers like this:
search previous next tag category expand menu location phone mail time cart zoom edit close